when the whole world goes quiet and all that is left to be heard is the wind in the trees, the birds in the distance singing merry tunes to the sun and the gentle munching of grass...
Four solid hooves keeping foundation to a thousand pounds of precision.
Flowing mane amidst a mess of soul.
These beings are my salvation.
They keep me true.
Keep me safe.
Sane.
Joyous.
And at peace.
They are here to listen.
To give me strength.
To give trust and gain trust
To have confidence in one's self
To ask for confidence in them.
In a world of misplaced hate and cruel intentions I am lost with their most primal instincts.
How far ahead of us they are...
Herd instincts;
We may not like each other much but together we will survive..
No hoarding, only sharing.
Strict rules of membership but benefits galore.
Come be safe with us.
Come run and frolic...
Be free yet solid.
Chaos comes but only for an instant and then...
We just go back to grazing.
|
Sunday, July 19, 2015
And then just go back to grazing...
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Little Bits of Confidence
When I first started my lesson program here; I had one solid plan.
"Show team for teens and adults"
Who knew that only a few months later I would find my truest calling.
The littles.
In the past few months my lesson program has grown to include some very young and even shorter students. Younger kids who didn't fit the lesson model at other facilities. They are nervous, unconfident and need a lot of time to think and regain confidence. They can't be told to "just do it" because they've done that and it didn't work for them. They got spooked, they got scared and in many cases they fell off.
This is where I come in. And while I was a bit hesitant in the beginning; I cannot begin to describe how incredible it is to see those little light bulbs go off.. And a smile return to a stressed and nervous face. So far we have kids as young as 6 years old facing their fears and overcoming obstacles. One of our young girls has progressed from lead line to walking, steering and stopping on her own in 4 lessons time. She even walks over a tarp and up onto the pedestal; both on the ground and in the saddle.
Another is this little man, he had a bad experience in a riding lesson and lost his confidence. So far to the point that he wouldn't get back in the saddle. It's taken 3 lessons to get him comfortable again. But just this weekend he swung his leg up over that saddle and sat down. Took a deep breath... And got off again. To some people that may sound like a pretty lame lesson; but Max overcame so many obstacles in his own life that day! To get him comfortable we did a lot of different things. We started him on the ground learning how to confidently lead his pony around. Over obstacles and turning, stopping. Confidently. We had him stand on the mounting block and practice putting weight in the stirrup. Stand up, take a deep breath, step down. Approach and retreat.
What strikes me as the most interesting point is that I can use my horse training methods to help these amazing little horsepeople. I use approach and retreat. I give them support, but them give them space. I help them relax and take deep breaths.
And the most wonderful things come about.
They start to have fun again!
"Show team for teens and adults"
Who knew that only a few months later I would find my truest calling.
The littles.
In the past few months my lesson program has grown to include some very young and even shorter students. Younger kids who didn't fit the lesson model at other facilities. They are nervous, unconfident and need a lot of time to think and regain confidence. They can't be told to "just do it" because they've done that and it didn't work for them. They got spooked, they got scared and in many cases they fell off.
This is where I come in. And while I was a bit hesitant in the beginning; I cannot begin to describe how incredible it is to see those little light bulbs go off.. And a smile return to a stressed and nervous face. So far we have kids as young as 6 years old facing their fears and overcoming obstacles. One of our young girls has progressed from lead line to walking, steering and stopping on her own in 4 lessons time. She even walks over a tarp and up onto the pedestal; both on the ground and in the saddle.
Another is this little man, he had a bad experience in a riding lesson and lost his confidence. So far to the point that he wouldn't get back in the saddle. It's taken 3 lessons to get him comfortable again. But just this weekend he swung his leg up over that saddle and sat down. Took a deep breath... And got off again. To some people that may sound like a pretty lame lesson; but Max overcame so many obstacles in his own life that day! To get him comfortable we did a lot of different things. We started him on the ground learning how to confidently lead his pony around. Over obstacles and turning, stopping. Confidently. We had him stand on the mounting block and practice putting weight in the stirrup. Stand up, take a deep breath, step down. Approach and retreat.
What strikes me as the most interesting point is that I can use my horse training methods to help these amazing little horsepeople. I use approach and retreat. I give them support, but them give them space. I help them relax and take deep breaths.
And the most wonderful things come about.
They start to have fun again!
But through it all there is one most important aspect; the horses who carry us onward. My reliable horses take their job of carrying very precious cargo, ever so seriously. Blondie is our number one for confidence building; and I cannot speak highly enough of her attitude and endless patience during her lessons. Our next in line for this supportive role is our new pony Ziggy Stardust. She holds great potential and is just the right size too ;)
If you are having any confidence issues, whether you are a little horse person, an adult or any size in between; I encourage you to come out for a lesson with one of our steady eddies. And remember why we began our journey with horses in the first place; to have fun!
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Grace and Gratitude
There is a place for you.
Somewhere out there, in you and all around;
There is a place for you.
In the recent months here at the farm I find myself in a constant state of positive energy.
I belong.
I thrive; rather than just survive.
I walk with a bit of pep in my step, rather than dragging my sorrows along the way.
I have purpose.
I have myself.
I have a place.
I have a place just for me.
It wasn't always like this.
This is something that I have been reminded of lately.
As I work along side the little people in their first steps into horsemanship,
or with teens searching for that all familiar place...
A place for them.
A place for them with horses.
Not just a riding stable.
Not just somewhere where a horse becomes a vehicle for our entertainment...
But somewhere where they can breathe with a horse.
Walk next to a horse in pure confidence.
Step into the saddle and know they belong there.
I took a lot of on and off years to find that place.
Ironically a hard enough fall and whack on the head to realize what I was doing wasn't what I was needing...
And what I wanted was most definitely what I needed.
And what I needed fell into place; year by year.
Once I knew I had to find that place for myself.
So now I have an overwhelming sense of endless gratitude.
An attitude that sticks with me day by day, and second by second.
I work harder than I have ever worked because I know deep down to a cellular level;
This is undeniably where every atom of my being is meant to be.
And I have to give it back to the world around me.
I worked so hard to get here.
I struggled.
Fought.
Failed.
Learned.
Got back up.
Asked for help.
Got broken hearted.
Got injured.
Got help.
Got better.
Was given more.
Was needed.
Was wanted.
Found purpose.
And now I want to help others find their own path to this feeling.
This confident, all knowing feeling within; that gets me up every day.
That keeps me working after my feet hurt.
That warms my heart at night.
That fills my soul with light.
Religion always confused me before finding this place.
But isn't that what every religion is really searching for, underneath it all?
Enlightenment.
All knowing.
Comfort.
Confidence.
Peace.
I read a lot of posts online about how many people hear a version of themselves within, that talks down to them.
That hates them.
That hurts them.
Tells them they aren't good enough.
That they can't.
That they never will.
I know that voice.
I wish I could share that with everyone I know in pain right now.
I know.
I feel it too.
I let it hurt me.
I let it take control.
But there is another voice in there.
One that speaks a different language.
One that you have to feel.
It doesn't talk in your head.
It's in the rest of your being.
It's the warm fuzzy in your cheeks when you stand in the sun.
It's that tingling in your ribs when you see the love of your life.
It's the tickle in your tummy when you get excited or nervous.
It's the energy that drives you when you are feeling so good.
Embrace it.
Listen to that feeling.
Not to the voice in your head.
Drown that voice in this feeling.
Somedays I catch myself.
I'll be working away wondering how we will ever get everything done in time...
Sweating. Aching. Bruising. And complaining.
And then I'll look up.
I'll see all the ponies napping together in the afternoon sun.
Deep breaths of full bellies, sighs of content hearts.
And then I remember that I am one of these souls.
I am full.
I am content.
I am full of grace.
And I am forever grateful.
Much love.
Somewhere out there, in you and all around;
There is a place for you.
In the recent months here at the farm I find myself in a constant state of positive energy.
I belong.
I thrive; rather than just survive.
I walk with a bit of pep in my step, rather than dragging my sorrows along the way.
I have purpose.
I have myself.
I have a place.
I have a place just for me.
It wasn't always like this.
This is something that I have been reminded of lately.
As I work along side the little people in their first steps into horsemanship,
or with teens searching for that all familiar place...
A place for them.
A place for them with horses.
Not just a riding stable.
Not just somewhere where a horse becomes a vehicle for our entertainment...
But somewhere where they can breathe with a horse.
Walk next to a horse in pure confidence.
Step into the saddle and know they belong there.
I took a lot of on and off years to find that place.
Ironically a hard enough fall and whack on the head to realize what I was doing wasn't what I was needing...
And what I wanted was most definitely what I needed.
And what I needed fell into place; year by year.
Once I knew I had to find that place for myself.
So now I have an overwhelming sense of endless gratitude.
An attitude that sticks with me day by day, and second by second.
I work harder than I have ever worked because I know deep down to a cellular level;
This is undeniably where every atom of my being is meant to be.
And I have to give it back to the world around me.
I worked so hard to get here.
I struggled.
Fought.
Failed.
Learned.
Got back up.
Asked for help.
Got broken hearted.
Got injured.
Got help.
Got better.
Was given more.
Was needed.
Was wanted.
Found purpose.
And now I want to help others find their own path to this feeling.
This confident, all knowing feeling within; that gets me up every day.
That keeps me working after my feet hurt.
That warms my heart at night.
That fills my soul with light.
Religion always confused me before finding this place.
But isn't that what every religion is really searching for, underneath it all?
Enlightenment.
All knowing.
Comfort.
Confidence.
Peace.
I read a lot of posts online about how many people hear a version of themselves within, that talks down to them.
That hates them.
That hurts them.
Tells them they aren't good enough.
That they can't.
That they never will.
I know that voice.
I wish I could share that with everyone I know in pain right now.
I know.
I feel it too.
I let it hurt me.
I let it take control.
But there is another voice in there.
One that speaks a different language.
One that you have to feel.
It doesn't talk in your head.
It's in the rest of your being.
It's the warm fuzzy in your cheeks when you stand in the sun.
It's that tingling in your ribs when you see the love of your life.
It's the tickle in your tummy when you get excited or nervous.
It's the energy that drives you when you are feeling so good.
Embrace it.
Listen to that feeling.
Not to the voice in your head.
Drown that voice in this feeling.
Somedays I catch myself.
I'll be working away wondering how we will ever get everything done in time...
Sweating. Aching. Bruising. And complaining.
And then I'll look up.
I'll see all the ponies napping together in the afternoon sun.
Deep breaths of full bellies, sighs of content hearts.
And then I remember that I am one of these souls.
I am full.
I am content.
I am full of grace.
And I am forever grateful.
Much love.
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Motivation is my Salvation!
I don't know about yourself, but this winter has been one for the books for us here at the farm! Between broken water heaters, burst water pipes, frozen gates and the 4 feet of snow... It's weighed on us all. A lot.
And with it, came a serious dip in training time. Another serious dip in riding time.. and overall; a loss of motivation. But this past few weeks have shown their promise to me. I stepped up my game and got "focused".. for myself and for my horses.
Q and I are set to go to Kentucky in October; and we have A LOT of work to do before we even joke about competing there. That was my first kick out of being a lazy toad... Another push in the right direction was having a Parelli horseless workshop here in February. I've been on the fence about following the Parelli program for some time; mostly because of miscommunication and a lot of misunderstanding. The workshop fixed that.
What an amazing community of people. I have been searching for those who are in this strictly for the horse, and they are right up my alley!
After the workshop I decided to get my feet wet further and have been taking weekly lessons with a Parelli instructor, Maureen Owens; an incredible horsewoman! She has set me straight and I am gungho about it. Maureen sat me down and we planned out my goals for my horses; the path to Kentucky with Q and my Parelli level auditions with Johnny. I got a million whiteboards together, laid out my plans...
And I am following them!!
It's only been a couple weeks, but I can feel such a change in myself. And in Q. We have made leaps and bounds in the past 2 weeks; and I am no longer nervous to start saddle work with him. What an incredible partner he is; now that I have cleared some muddy waters and he can understand me.
This new found motivation is so fresh feeling. I have time to make these goals a reality. I have the best support team of coaches, horses, friends and family to keep me engaged and accountable... I've never felt this free before.
It makes me think about how many riders can get stuck without a coach. Without someone to keep them accountable and constantly improving. I've been stuck in that rut so many times, and it gets so rough to deal with after awhile. Like... is this all there is? Or am I really good enough to just stay at this level? I hate questions like this, because it goes against my core values. One which matches the Parelli values perfectly: dedication to never ending self improvement! But how hard is it to continue to self improve if you don't have someone to show you what you can improve upon.
The past 2 weeks I have signed up for 2 clinics over the spring and summer; one with Don Halladay in May and one with Waltr Zettl in July. These two clinics mean I need to be at a certain level of training, fitness and emotional clarity before Q and I walk into the arena. This is what drives my motivation. What keeps me focused. I don't get lost thinking I'll just try this one day or miss a training session just once; because I know I need to be working on specific tasks to get us moving forward. That's not to say we don't have fun, or try anything new.. it's just in a certain order and with specific purpose. It fits a timeline, with a goal.
With all that said, I encourage you all to set your goals! We learned about SMART goals in civics class and I'm sure all rolled our eyes at them in highschool... But they play a big part of success now that we are on a path to reach a real goal.. Something tangible.
Then, with those goals in mind, find the right coach to keep you accountable. Nothing can make me miss a training session with Q now that I know Maureen is coming every Friday. I don't want to waste a lesson working on something I should've been working on all week. I want to take the next step and get to the next progression.. however big or small that may be; I'm addicted.
Anyone else have some big goals for this year? Anyone else headed to Kentucky in October for the Thoroughbred Makeover Challenge?
And with it, came a serious dip in training time. Another serious dip in riding time.. and overall; a loss of motivation. But this past few weeks have shown their promise to me. I stepped up my game and got "focused".. for myself and for my horses.
Q and I are set to go to Kentucky in October; and we have A LOT of work to do before we even joke about competing there. That was my first kick out of being a lazy toad... Another push in the right direction was having a Parelli horseless workshop here in February. I've been on the fence about following the Parelli program for some time; mostly because of miscommunication and a lot of misunderstanding. The workshop fixed that.
What an amazing community of people. I have been searching for those who are in this strictly for the horse, and they are right up my alley!
After the workshop I decided to get my feet wet further and have been taking weekly lessons with a Parelli instructor, Maureen Owens; an incredible horsewoman! She has set me straight and I am gungho about it. Maureen sat me down and we planned out my goals for my horses; the path to Kentucky with Q and my Parelli level auditions with Johnny. I got a million whiteboards together, laid out my plans...
And I am following them!!
It's only been a couple weeks, but I can feel such a change in myself. And in Q. We have made leaps and bounds in the past 2 weeks; and I am no longer nervous to start saddle work with him. What an incredible partner he is; now that I have cleared some muddy waters and he can understand me.
This new found motivation is so fresh feeling. I have time to make these goals a reality. I have the best support team of coaches, horses, friends and family to keep me engaged and accountable... I've never felt this free before.
It makes me think about how many riders can get stuck without a coach. Without someone to keep them accountable and constantly improving. I've been stuck in that rut so many times, and it gets so rough to deal with after awhile. Like... is this all there is? Or am I really good enough to just stay at this level? I hate questions like this, because it goes against my core values. One which matches the Parelli values perfectly: dedication to never ending self improvement! But how hard is it to continue to self improve if you don't have someone to show you what you can improve upon.
The past 2 weeks I have signed up for 2 clinics over the spring and summer; one with Don Halladay in May and one with Waltr Zettl in July. These two clinics mean I need to be at a certain level of training, fitness and emotional clarity before Q and I walk into the arena. This is what drives my motivation. What keeps me focused. I don't get lost thinking I'll just try this one day or miss a training session just once; because I know I need to be working on specific tasks to get us moving forward. That's not to say we don't have fun, or try anything new.. it's just in a certain order and with specific purpose. It fits a timeline, with a goal.
With all that said, I encourage you all to set your goals! We learned about SMART goals in civics class and I'm sure all rolled our eyes at them in highschool... But they play a big part of success now that we are on a path to reach a real goal.. Something tangible.
Then, with those goals in mind, find the right coach to keep you accountable. Nothing can make me miss a training session with Q now that I know Maureen is coming every Friday. I don't want to waste a lesson working on something I should've been working on all week. I want to take the next step and get to the next progression.. however big or small that may be; I'm addicted.
Anyone else have some big goals for this year? Anyone else headed to Kentucky in October for the Thoroughbred Makeover Challenge?
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
New Pieces of My Heart - Being a Foster Mom
Sometimes things are thrust upon us that we are not ready for, not even the slightly bit prepared for; but nonetheless events unravel and we are left with the decision to respond or turn away. I have never been very good at turning away... I can work hard to avoid these certain situations in the beginning, but once I am asked for help; I can never turn away. Not until I am satisfied with the result... Or at least happy with the current path.
Last fall we had a foxhound join us on the farm for a short week after being rescued from certain death at a hunt camp. He came to us skinny, battered, bruised and shaking like a leaf. Loud sounds made him shiver, and he was very uncertain of new people.. especially men. He spent the week with us living out happily in the barn at night, and with our dogs in the acre run behind our house during the day. He became part of the furry family. But we worked hard not to get too attached; we knew he was going to a new home at some point. And we wanted to save ourselves, and him, the removal from our family.
He went out to a couple a couple towns over, and we thought he would be happy. He spent a couple months there with another dog companion. But changing circumstances put him back in our lives... It's funny to think that some people can so easily pick up a dog, love him for months, and then decide to put him in a shelter without a second thought. They dropped him off and that was that...
So we finally made the decision to bring him in the house, it was freezing outside and there was no other option. I couldn't let him suffer any longer than he already had... Our Aussie had a different idea around this, and so the first week was very high stress for everyone. He would herd the new pooch around the house, and constantly try to dominate him. They drove us mental. But one day they settled. And things got a lot better. Until they got a lot worse.
After such a hard life, this poor dog had turned to a fight instinct to survive. So whenever he was spooked beyond control, he would lash out. He never hurt anyone, never hurt any of our dogs... But he was a bit scary for my family. While he had become my loyal companion, it was clear to everyone that he wouldn't fit here long term... The decision was made that while we had planned to rehab him and find him a forever home; we weren't capable of giving him that home anymore. And so a search began to find the right home. Unfortunately because of his fear aggression we needed a home that would be able to handle his needs of comfort, calm and quiet and easy.
Which brings me to today.
Today I took Barney to an amazing rescue kennel and horse sanctuary. They assessed him and loved him. They quickly saw the dog I had been falling in love with the past 3 weeks. But I also saw more too. Barney and I were connected... When he got worried in the new environment he turned quickly to me and ran over for comfort. He always looked to me for guidance and approval for each step. I was overwhelmed with guilt. How could I let us develop such an attachment, when I knew I had to let him go again? All I want is for him to have the right home. To find consistency, love and sanctuary. He has the biggest heart and he deserves so much more in this life. He has been passed off too many times and he needs a forever spot.
Being a foster mom is the hardest job I've had to endure this far in my life. I've found new pieces of my heart on this journey... New pieces of strength, but also of overwhelming appreciation. I will never be able to do this job again. For as much as I have grown in this experience, I have also broken down. I know now that I am not strong enough to let go the way that is needed... Being a mom means making the hardest decisions against everything you feel in your heart, for the right of this life you have taken responsibility for. For this heart, this soul and those eyes that look to you for the world.
I have found the greatest appreciation for my own mother in this journey, for how many hard decisions she has made for me in my life. And how many pieces she must have of her own heart by now. To know that feeling is one of the most important aspects of our lives, because it separates us from just our own life force, and expands it to another's. To feel this much is a gift.
And though I feel so broken now, thinking constantly of Barney's eyes running to me for safety. I can only hope that since I know in my heart he is so capable of loving us, that he will be capable of putting the pieces together and loving another. His forever mom. Not just his foster mom.
Last fall we had a foxhound join us on the farm for a short week after being rescued from certain death at a hunt camp. He came to us skinny, battered, bruised and shaking like a leaf. Loud sounds made him shiver, and he was very uncertain of new people.. especially men. He spent the week with us living out happily in the barn at night, and with our dogs in the acre run behind our house during the day. He became part of the furry family. But we worked hard not to get too attached; we knew he was going to a new home at some point. And we wanted to save ourselves, and him, the removal from our family.
So we finally made the decision to bring him in the house, it was freezing outside and there was no other option. I couldn't let him suffer any longer than he already had... Our Aussie had a different idea around this, and so the first week was very high stress for everyone. He would herd the new pooch around the house, and constantly try to dominate him. They drove us mental. But one day they settled. And things got a lot better. Until they got a lot worse.
After such a hard life, this poor dog had turned to a fight instinct to survive. So whenever he was spooked beyond control, he would lash out. He never hurt anyone, never hurt any of our dogs... But he was a bit scary for my family. While he had become my loyal companion, it was clear to everyone that he wouldn't fit here long term... The decision was made that while we had planned to rehab him and find him a forever home; we weren't capable of giving him that home anymore. And so a search began to find the right home. Unfortunately because of his fear aggression we needed a home that would be able to handle his needs of comfort, calm and quiet and easy.
Which brings me to today.
Today I took Barney to an amazing rescue kennel and horse sanctuary. They assessed him and loved him. They quickly saw the dog I had been falling in love with the past 3 weeks. But I also saw more too. Barney and I were connected... When he got worried in the new environment he turned quickly to me and ran over for comfort. He always looked to me for guidance and approval for each step. I was overwhelmed with guilt. How could I let us develop such an attachment, when I knew I had to let him go again? All I want is for him to have the right home. To find consistency, love and sanctuary. He has the biggest heart and he deserves so much more in this life. He has been passed off too many times and he needs a forever spot.
Being a foster mom is the hardest job I've had to endure this far in my life. I've found new pieces of my heart on this journey... New pieces of strength, but also of overwhelming appreciation. I will never be able to do this job again. For as much as I have grown in this experience, I have also broken down. I know now that I am not strong enough to let go the way that is needed... Being a mom means making the hardest decisions against everything you feel in your heart, for the right of this life you have taken responsibility for. For this heart, this soul and those eyes that look to you for the world.
I have found the greatest appreciation for my own mother in this journey, for how many hard decisions she has made for me in my life. And how many pieces she must have of her own heart by now. To know that feeling is one of the most important aspects of our lives, because it separates us from just our own life force, and expands it to another's. To feel this much is a gift.
And though I feel so broken now, thinking constantly of Barney's eyes running to me for safety. I can only hope that since I know in my heart he is so capable of loving us, that he will be capable of putting the pieces together and loving another. His forever mom. Not just his foster mom.
Saturday, January 24, 2015
The Why and How Come of the "Pedestal Stand"
A couple weeks ago we had a brand new pedestal dropped off from some amazing friends; and since then I've gotten a lot of questioning looks from those outside of the Natural Horsemanship community.
"Why do you make your horse stand on the elephant circus stand?" - one of my favourites so far.
So I've decided to let everyone else in on our little secrets; and I'll start with saying that it's not just because it looks cool.
There is a multitude of benefits for using the pedestal, but I'm going to stick with the top three for now...
1) Trailer Loading Confidence
Horses have a pretty hard time figuring out a trailer the first time, and even if they get it, they are still pretty nervous about it for a long while after. Trailer loading is one of the most difficult parts of horse ownership; and speaking from experience, I've seen every gadget under the sun to get a horse on a trailer. So... wouldn't it be nice if a horse could just walk on a trailer and load themselves? Maybe be soooo confident that they can just put those feet right up there and walk up, wait patiently and be tucked in for the drive?
Working a horse on a pedestal is a great first step to trailer loading practice. Horses are claustrophobic by nature, this means they are uncomfortable in small spaces (like a trailer); but they are also nervous stepping up onto things from a lack of proprioception (wiki: from Latin proprius, meaning "one's own", "individual," and perception, is the sense of the relative position of neighbouring parts of the body and strength of effort being employed in movement.) So teaching a horse to trailer load with a trailer from the get go, is making them deal with 2 pretty innate fears for a flight prey species all at once.
This is where the pedestal comes in. The pedestal allows the horse to learn how to lift it's hooves (both fronts and the hinds) and legs up onto something solid; without having to squeeze into a foreign and scary place too. They can gain confidence with their proprioception of their front hooves going up, and backing off. As well as eventually progressing into standing up with both fronts, and then adding hind legs without turning or spinning. Being able to teach and reward this behaviour creates a building block of trust and confidence for when you finally ask them to step into the trailer.
2) Multi Height Confidence
Horse's do not naturally walk over anything off the ground. They walk on hills that take them up and down, and over logs and trees for brief moments; but there are very few situations where they are standing up over the ground on an object. That means they are not used to stepping up and being confident there. This makes the pedestal an ideal candidate to test your horse's willingness and trust in you, but also to create a building block of trust in themselves.
Well trained horses are those who have a high level of emotional fitness; they are comfortable in their own being and can work or play without panicking and throwing a fit. They can respond to their environment, rather than react to it. This makes them an ideal partner for sportsmanship and a great athlete in high pressure situations.
A pedestal can be a training tool, as part of a training regiment, to build confidence and emotional fitness. It's also a great bonding tool for growing a partnership.
3) Building a Partnership Based on Trust and Respect
Teaching a horse how to step up on a pedestal (or any new scary object) allows you to show your horse how confident you are, how knowledgeable you are and how safe it is to do what you ask of them. It also shows them your patience, and encourages them to try. Once you can get your horse to trust you to put a foot up, and they can immediately see it's not going to hurt them.. they can find trust in your guidance. Especially if when they stand up on that pedestal they learn about happy treat time.
I use the pedestal with all of my clients, pleasure and show alike, to build a partnership based on trust. A horse can learn to stand on a pedestal for anyone over time, and it can be a triggered trick for sure. But those first few times of progression together; to let go and trust each other is what makes this exercise so useful.
It's also a great place to create a "safe place" in your training regime. If your horse can get stressed out easily, teach them that every time they are on the pedestal it's quiet time; treats, love and relaxation. So they can learn how to self soothe in high stress times. And trust that you understand that they need a break too. When I'm working with Johnny sometimes we'll get a little too high strung and he'll go to the pedestal and demand his own time out to breathe and regroup. He is a highly emotionally fit horse now; and the pedestal used to be an absolute nightmare for him.
And yes, it's even fun to ride up there too!
Until next time, don't forget to keep on keepin' on!
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Time and Time Again...
Have you ever heard the phrase "Time heals all"?
I get told it a lot. It's an occupational hazard of being an empath.
But what does it really mean to us? Why is it something that comes up time and time again?
Does time itself heal us, or do we get desensitized to the pain over time...
As someone who feels just about everything, I have to tell you that time does not heal all. Time helps you hide all. Taking steps to heal that pain is what heals over time. Not the other way around.
I was reminded of this idea today as I've been working with Q a lot more to get him ready to start actual saddle work. I found myself in a state of constant procrastination of the idea; and I decided to sit down and really puzzle through why I was giving him more and more time. I discovered my excuses were because of that phrase... If I kept giving him more time, he'd be more ready to start work again. He wouldn't shut down again. He wouldn't lose weight again... he would be healed.
But it became a very flawed notion. Because giving him time suddenly became not working with him. And that would've been sending us backwards. So I picked up my act, and started a real work schedule with him on the ground. The results have been amazing. He is one of the softest horses to cue on the ground; he's willing and connected at the slightest try. And he has begun to value me for more than just the hay net lady. Before he would only run to the gate when it was turn in for grain time; now he approaches me any time I am near for some social connections.
The other night he told me in more ways than one that he was ready to start saddle work; but more importantly that he was ready to trust me. He's ready to be a responsible partner. After our ground lesson and liberty games session; I took him out to his paddock and instead of leaving me at the gate after our "one last carrot" moment... he turned to me and put his head next to me. Then he backed up and put my body right next to his heart girth. And leaned into me. He took so many deep breaths and just stood there; with just enough pressure against me that we were connected, but not enough that he was pushing me off balance.
At first I was really confused at his behaviour, I thought maybe he was trying to show me a painful spot, or wanted me to itch his belly. But every time I went to move towards him with my hands he would lean back, wait for me to stop, then lean back in.
Eventually I took the hint, put my head against his back and leaned back into him. He took this deep relaxing breath and relaxed every muscle in his body. And there we stood, breathing in rhythm...
It brought tears to my eyes. He has been so hard to reach for so long. But all I had to do was stop trying to fix him, stop thinking I needed to do this and that. And just BE with him. I had to let go.
It's always about letting go.
I think that's where this "time heals all" thing comes in. As if time makes it easier for you to let go; or it forces you to let go without knowing. But the truth is that letting go is a conscious act. You have to recognize your tension, recognize what you are holding onto with that human death grip.. and let it go.
"If you love something, let it free"
There are no truer words than those.
Let go of the reins.
Open the gate.
Let go of the lead.
Let go of this caged tunnel vision thinking.
And just be in the moment.
That moment with Q at the gate is one of the most important moments in our entire year together. I know how calm and connected he can be. I know he can relax into my soft pressure, and I into his. This is the most important conversation we have had to date. And to me it says we are ready to take a step into another world. Upward and onward.
He has healed me. He has shown me what I am capable of if I allow myself to be.
To let go and follow my instinct.
To follow this feel.
This deafening ability to feel everything; so I can absorb and then let it go back into the world.
Positive. Grounded.
Time and time again.
I get told it a lot. It's an occupational hazard of being an empath.
But what does it really mean to us? Why is it something that comes up time and time again?
Does time itself heal us, or do we get desensitized to the pain over time...
As someone who feels just about everything, I have to tell you that time does not heal all. Time helps you hide all. Taking steps to heal that pain is what heals over time. Not the other way around.
I was reminded of this idea today as I've been working with Q a lot more to get him ready to start actual saddle work. I found myself in a state of constant procrastination of the idea; and I decided to sit down and really puzzle through why I was giving him more and more time. I discovered my excuses were because of that phrase... If I kept giving him more time, he'd be more ready to start work again. He wouldn't shut down again. He wouldn't lose weight again... he would be healed.
But it became a very flawed notion. Because giving him time suddenly became not working with him. And that would've been sending us backwards. So I picked up my act, and started a real work schedule with him on the ground. The results have been amazing. He is one of the softest horses to cue on the ground; he's willing and connected at the slightest try. And he has begun to value me for more than just the hay net lady. Before he would only run to the gate when it was turn in for grain time; now he approaches me any time I am near for some social connections.
The other night he told me in more ways than one that he was ready to start saddle work; but more importantly that he was ready to trust me. He's ready to be a responsible partner. After our ground lesson and liberty games session; I took him out to his paddock and instead of leaving me at the gate after our "one last carrot" moment... he turned to me and put his head next to me. Then he backed up and put my body right next to his heart girth. And leaned into me. He took so many deep breaths and just stood there; with just enough pressure against me that we were connected, but not enough that he was pushing me off balance.
At first I was really confused at his behaviour, I thought maybe he was trying to show me a painful spot, or wanted me to itch his belly. But every time I went to move towards him with my hands he would lean back, wait for me to stop, then lean back in.
Eventually I took the hint, put my head against his back and leaned back into him. He took this deep relaxing breath and relaxed every muscle in his body. And there we stood, breathing in rhythm...
It brought tears to my eyes. He has been so hard to reach for so long. But all I had to do was stop trying to fix him, stop thinking I needed to do this and that. And just BE with him. I had to let go.
It's always about letting go.
I think that's where this "time heals all" thing comes in. As if time makes it easier for you to let go; or it forces you to let go without knowing. But the truth is that letting go is a conscious act. You have to recognize your tension, recognize what you are holding onto with that human death grip.. and let it go.
"If you love something, let it free"
There are no truer words than those.
Let go of the reins.
Open the gate.
Let go of the lead.
Let go of this caged tunnel vision thinking.
And just be in the moment.
That moment with Q at the gate is one of the most important moments in our entire year together. I know how calm and connected he can be. I know he can relax into my soft pressure, and I into his. This is the most important conversation we have had to date. And to me it says we are ready to take a step into another world. Upward and onward.
He has healed me. He has shown me what I am capable of if I allow myself to be.
To let go and follow my instinct.
To follow this feel.
This deafening ability to feel everything; so I can absorb and then let it go back into the world.
Positive. Grounded.
Time and time again.
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